I’m pretty sure we’ve all had our fair share of frogs whom we thought we could change into a charming prince! Right? I can raise my hand and say I have. (I’ll share my story later in the blog.) Maybe it was something that drew you to that person and you saw his POTENTIAL and even though he didn’t measure up to your standard, you knew you had a chance of getting him there! Listen! It is NOT your job to fix a man for your pleasure. If he doesn’t value you or what you stand for, keep it moving! You have to realize your value! But that’s what happens! We meet a person who doesn’t even RESPECT our standards, yet for some reason we think we can change his mind and get him on our level! We can find ourselves digging a guy because he’s very attractive and he’s our “type”, but what does his fruit look like? His handsome face and muscular body isn’t going to help you fight off devils! Spiritual attraction exceeds physical attraction any day! Can he pray for you? Does he love the Lord with ALL of his heart? Does he see beyond your natural beauty? These are important things to consider.
We as women have to learn how to LOVE, RESPECT, and VALUE ourselves! We can’t just dive into relationships with any and everybody. We’re too precious for that. That’s how we get caught up in situationships! All the emotions start floating, causing instability in the mind. All which could’ve been avoided if we would’ve said NO in the first place and just waited for what we know we deserve.
I’ve heard the saying “Desperate people do desperate things!” That’s so true! Out of desperation we move from our position and seek someone to establish a relationship with. Maybe the guy you meet doesn’t even go to church nor is he willing to serve God. Now you have to get him to church. You have to pray for God to change him. But if only you’d wait you could avoid these things!
Are you ignoring the red flags?
I met a guy during my senior year of high school and I fell head over heels in love—or lust if I may add. I ignored the signs that he wasn’t the right one for me out of being young and naive. For one, I didn’t know Christ and wasn’t in a relationship with Him. So falling for guys who didn’t value me was norm. Why? Because I didn’t value myself. I got pregnant and had my son at eighteen. Fast forward three years, I gave my life to Christ and realized that the lifestyle I was living wasn’t pleasing to God. So after surrendering my life to Jesus, my boyfriend and I split on several occasions but I always ended up going back to him.
The first red flag was his unfaithfulness. I knew I deserved better BUT I stayed because we had a child together. On top of that, we ended up getting married. I thought that marriage would bring great change but I was in for a surprise. Three months after our “I do’s”, I ended up in the hospital. After being released from spending numerous months in the hospital, I found out that he still wasn’t faithful. I’d gotten fed up going back and forth so our marriage ended in divorce.
I let my insecurities keep me in that relationship longer than need be. I let not knowing my worth get me in that relationship in the first place.
That’s one story! Here’s the last and final one! I met a guy who wasn’t even my type. It started out good. It wasn’t until one night I asked him if he was okay in leading prayer that night. He did! His words seemed rehearsed and I could since he didn’t spend the needed time with God. He would say one thing on the phone but never held up to his words. I kept this to myself and gave people my “soon-to-be-Godly-man” version of him. I found myself becoming frustrated because I was the one always wanting to pray and spend time with Jesus. He wanted the opposite. But out of believing the lies of the enemy, I ignored all of those things. One day he proposed and it was very awkward. Guess what, I said “yes” anyway. But all hell broke loose in my life after I said “yes.” That’s another story to share one day! But do you get where I’m going? I was willing to settle for a ring. I remember receiving so much confirmation that he wasn’t the one before I said “yes”. At our women’s conference, a prophetess had a word for the women and when she said, “My sister, he’s not the one” I could’ve picked my heart up off the floor. I knew that word was for me. “But, he has potential. I can show him how to love God.” No honey! I almost set my life up for complete disaster. I would’ve been spending nights on my knees BEGGING God to change him so that he can be the priest of our home. He just wasn’t the one. When I shared the news with people, I wasn’t excited as someone who should be thrilled about getting married. I mean I was at first until I saw who he really was. He wasn’t my prince! Only a frog waiting to be kissed.
We can’t allow our insecurities to cause us to settle. We are worth more than we think. We have been sealed with God’s approval and we shouldn’t lower our standards for anyone! We were bought at a GREAT price.
When we settle, we devalue who we are. And even in settling, it doesn’t compare to God’s best for us. So that frog we decided to pursue a relationship with, turns out to be a frog in the end. If you desire a prince, he’ll be approved by God. He’ll be there to help build you up and not intentionally tear you down. He’ll value you and take care of your heart. He will see you as the prized possession that you are!
Q: Why didn’t my frog turn into a prince?
A: He wasn’t sent by God and you can’t fix him so DON’T try to fix him. Leave him be and stay in position for the man who’s looking forward to meeting you and making you his wife. Sis, you don’t have to worry about kissing and sexing a man just so that he can become a prince. Your prince is already of royal lineage just like you and he’s waiting to meet the very woman he’s been praying for.
No more wasting time! No more entertaining those we know aren’t sent by God. Time is too precious to be wasting! This journey isn’t easy and the enemy can send so many frogs our way. But as women of God, we don’t have to settle. We have to realize who we are and WHOSE we are. We have to develop the boldness to say NO to men who do not have our best interests at heart. We have to continue to stay before God, praying and seeking His face, and allow Him to add what needs to be added into our lives. Don’t fret my sister! Keep pursuing Jesus with everything in you! He loves you so much!
So rest my sister, in the promises of God for your life! Know that God will present to you your prince at the appointed time. Please don’t entertain any frogs thinking you can change then. Just trust God! You are worth the wait and so is he.
Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.
Picture belongs to http://redtri.com/seattle/the-frog-prince-8/%5D